After a LONG day, Jason and I crawled into bed last night. As we turned out the lights, I knew they would soon be turned on again when the morning intruded. I quickly thought about how much I would dread another day like the one I had just had. It had been hard, and I was weary. On top of lots of little things just going wrong,Silas had been pretty bad- and I was ready for a much better day with a much more obedient 18 month old. If those teeth coming in could just hold off a little while longer and give both him and I a break... maybe we could make it.
In the dark, I whispered to Jason: "I know I don't deserve it, but I sure would like to have an easy day tomorrow". Jason, as he usually does, quickly said- "I hope so too, is there anything I can do?" I replied: "You could take Silas to work with you?" We both laughed and then he sweetly said, I can't but I will pray for you.
He began to pray for me- mainly in praying for Silas and his disposition to be much better. As he was ending the prayer, the Spirit gently revealed to me that Silas was not the problem- as much as I wanted to blame him, or the bad service at Sonic, or the broken phone, or the messy house, or the lack of time to accomplish all I was supposed to- none of those things were the root of my "bad day".
My ugly, sinful, self reliant heart was the problem.
Those things are the result of living in a fallen world- but my attitude about those things was the result of not clinging to Jesus and refusing to seek Him for patience, grace, endurance. All to often I buy into the lie that I pretty much have to give in to snapping at that person who makes me angry, or losing my temper when things don't go as planned, refusing to be gracious when that person hurts me for the 100th time- I mean- what else can a sinful human do when faced with those realities, right?
WRONG. I am so very wrong.
Instead of buying the lie I should be buying the truth that my Father gives me in Isaiah 55:1-2 -
“Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. (Isaiah 55:1-2)
In this case- this is the "rich food" my weary soul needs: As a believer I have the right to boldly approach the throne of grace and beg the Spirit to help me, to cling to the promise that there is ALWAYS a way out of temptation, a way to obey because of the faithfulness of Jesus. (1 Corinthians 10:13). There is an UNLIMITED supply of everything I could possibly need to fight a "bad day". And the good news is that everything that I need, has already been bought, already won for me, already given- to me- FREELY.
The cross and the empty tomb secure my victory every day- every moment.
And to not abide in that truth, to not wield that weapon which is the surest reality- is sin. It is foolish and stupid sin. And I must fight it- because why would it make sense to give in when I am guaranteed victory if I just trust the Gospel and flesh it out in my life?
In moments like these, I find this verse to be so beautiful.
"HIS divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, THROUGH the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world..." (2 Peter 1:3-4)
Now THAT is a verse dripping with hope. And hope is what we all need. And hope is what we have through Christ.
He defeated sin, death, Satan, and as His friend, I have everything I need to crucify that "ugly, sinful, self reliant heart" that keeps popping up.
As I rocked Silas earlier I find myself singing "Come, Ye Sinners"- which is exactly what I needed to be meditating on. The last verse is what captured my gaze and I hope it captures yours as well: "Lo! The Incarnate God, ascended; Pleads the merit of His blood. Venture on Him; venture wholly, Let no other trust intrude. None but Jesus, none but Jesus Can do helpless sinners good."